A night. An expereince.
I dun know why, but the air seemed to be more chilling than usual..As i walked out of the main ward to get some fresh air, the cold cold air in the middle of the quiet nite was the only thing who can embrace my loneliness..I really like to use sum hug, and thanks to the compasionate wind.
I walked, n sat for a while. My mind was totally blank. N i could not feel anything.I kind of felt guilty fot that. Then i walked to the ward, where my mum was hospitalised. I sat down. Next to her. The light was dim, yet i found it better that way as it will avoid me from seeing other patients that slept not so far from my mum’s bed.
I held her hands..They were cold..lifeless, n i hate tat. I started to rub it, trying to make it warm. This is the only thing tat i could do now. She was mumbling sumting in her sleep…problably the anestatic was 2 strong…She was dead pale..looking barely alive. I blanketed her..comb her long black hair, n i kissed her forehead.
Sitting in a room filled with patients was certainly not easy. Moaning..cried..can b heard all the time….Hearing them made me know how suffering the conditions they r in. I chose to ignore those sounds. I sat. Motionless. Looking out the window, with no direction to wer i was looking. Blank.. I wanted to think of sumthing.. But i was numb…emotionally.
I closed my eyes for a while, trying to make sum prayyers..which i wont ever do. I dont believe in God..but i still kept on praying tat she will wake up n hug me the nex morning.
A minute later, some aunties, whosse parents were lying jus next to my mama’s bed, interuppted me. She asked, wat happened to the young lady, which refered to my mum. I just shooked my head, indicating i DINDT wan to talk much.. They left me a while a later finding me not keen into the conversation..
It was 3 o clock am, i took the lift up n down, everytime i needed to go to pee, or buying snacks..For the first time, i was not afraid of ghost…My mind was too bothered to think about such nonsense…..
I then get back to her..n started to write..The experience here in the hospital was overwhelming..I was only 16 back then..
And it was too cruel for me to comprehend life n death, which happend in the very front of me. I stay strong. I know i hv to.
This is the place, tat for me, is the most unique plac in the world. The life opend in 2nd floor, saw ppl cried over the past pf their loved 1.
The lift opened at 3rd floor, i found family smiling, as they received new life n welcoming them in the world.
That is 1 night i coould never forget.
